A Kind Heart

Oliver can seem heartless. He doesn't show empathy for others very often & he can appear to be very selfish. I know he is only 8, but these characteristics do worry me. I know deep down that he is a caring, compassionate little boy but I wish he would show it more.

Last night we watched a documentary on Netflix about American people who own exotic pets. Pets like lions, alligators & extremely poisonous snakes. I don't get the attraction but I could see how much some of the people loved their animals like family members. One man in particular had a lion & a lioness in his back yard. You could tell he loved them as much as anyone would love their family dog or cat. Unfortunately, the lion (named Lambert) was accidentally electrocuted. It was terrible because it was all filmed. The owner was in cage, laying in the mud beside Lambert when he died. It was very moving. Oliver was very upset, more upset than Ethan or Avery. More deeply upset.

When I questioned him about his emotion, he had a hard time answering. I prodded gently to get him to vocalize what he was feeling. He came over to me with giant tears in his eyes & crawled on my lap. He whispered that he was sad for the owner of Lambert, he was sad for Lambert & he was VERY sad for Lambert's wife Lucy (the lioness). I asked him why he had a hard time telling me that? He shrugged his shoulders in response.

"I KNOW you have a kind heart Oliver. I wish you would show it more" I said. Again, a shrug with eyes looking down. "I also know it seems hard for you to share what you are feeling but I want to help you work on that, ok?". A slight nod, again with eyes down. I lifted is face to look at me & told him "How about you tell Mommy your feelings? Just me & I will keep them to myself. You share your kindness with me & get comfortable with doing so. Then, when you are ready you can share your kind heart easily with the rest of the world?" A small smile & a huge nod "Ok Mom".

This brought tears to me eyes. Oliver has the emotion, he just has a hard time sharing it. I suppose this is true about Oliver in general. He has a hard time sharing toys, space, ideas, me... to name a few things. I used to think this trait was selfish in nature, probably because I am very much the opposite to it. Now, I wonder if it isn't that Oliver doesn't want to share himself, but rather that he doesn't know how to?

This child challenges me & teaches me on a regular basis. Last night was a huge eye opener for me. I will make Oliver's feelings a priority from now on. I will encourage him to share what he feels & I will keep those feelings like little gifts until he is ready to share them with the rest of the world. I hope this will help him because I know it has already helped me.

Me.