The count down is on. In less than a month, the boys & I will be moving in to our own place. Our OWN place. This is both exciting AND terrifying. I am happy we have somewhere to go although deep down I still wish this wasn't all happening. It is most definitely NOT the life I expected.
I have begun packing & I am sorting through the items I will need. I am REALLY going to downsize for the move because there will be 4 of us in a 2 bedroom row house. It is small but it is clean & in a nice area. Really, when I look around at all the stuff I (we) have accumulated over the past 10 years, I don't need half of it. This will force me to live in a simplified environment... something I have been craving for a while but never had the will power to do.
As anxious as I am to get my own place, I am even more anxious to GET A JOB. Let's face it, my last "career" didn't end ideally. I KNOW that my departure had NOTHING to do with me but it still stings a bit. Besides being anxious about a new job, I just NEED a job. I was caught up in the old chicken & egg idea... I needed a place to live & a vehicle to get a job but I need a job to pay for said place & vehicle. Ahhh what can ya do? I just have to believe that it will all work out... & it will.
"It will be what it will be", "It is what it is", & "Good things happen to better people" are my new mantras. At the end of the day, I will be employed... I know I will. I know myself & I know my work ethic.
So now, I wait. I pack a little each day. I still have mental break downs (including crying & feeling sorry for myself) & I probably will for a while.
June 21, 2014 is a new beginning for me. It also happens to be summer solstice... which makes me feel like I can capture some of the positive energy from that day... "It will be what it will be!"
Me.
