Lately I spend a lot (A LOT) of time wondering. I wonder about the next few years of my life. I wonder how the actual move will go. I wonder what my new house will look like. I wonder what kind of car I will get. I wonder about the new friends I will meet will be like. I wonder what job I will get. I wonder how it will feel to go to sleep on the first night in my new place... the start of my new life.
I spent a lot of time wondering about all these same types of questions last spring before we were posted. The wondering was exciting... it kept me looking forward to the move through all the stress. I wondered so much about the fun stuff that I neglected to wonder about my marriage & if it would survive. Turns out, it didn't. The troubles in my marriage were like the little black that followed me around... a little black cloud that I completely ignored! I ignored that cloud as much as I could, but it found me eventually!
This time... there is no black cloud... all I have is possibility. I'm not saying that there won't be hardships or negative moments, but the negative parts will be mine & mine alone! I have a plan for if (or when) the little black clouds approach my life. I plan to face the clouds head on, let them rain & then make my own rainbow. I am determined to live among rainbows. It doesn't seem impossible anymore.
I will keep wondering. I won't ever stop.
Me.
No comments:
Post a Comment